Peachy's Pet Pals: Inquiring Canines Want to Know! The Emergence of BREMMA: Bruno, Upper West Side Pug, and Emma, Upper East Side Pug, Hit it Off On Their First Date, a Romp in Central Park!
Bruno arrives like a knight in shining armor
It's the big day! Their hot date! Star canine gossip columnist, Lucy Vonnegut of Whom You Know, labeled the pairing by Peachy "BREMMA" in the spirit of Brangelina.
Narration and storytelling in black by Peachy!
Lucy Vonnegut, canine gossip columnist of Whom You Know
Play by play commentary by Lucy in pink
Responses by Bruno in blue
Responses by Emma in purple
Bruno arrives via Lincoln Town Car to the steps of The Met. Oh Lucy we missed you today but your commentary is priceless. Today is the day of his big date with Emma.
Bruno had the dreaded bath last night, and he awaits his leading lady.
BRUNO, RELAX, BIG BOY. WE LIKE OUR MEN CALM AND CONFIDENT.
Got it covered Lucy. Can't you tell I am a Leo? Regal, self confident, fun loving, highly entertaining.
"Mom and Peachy, is she here yet?" exclaims Bruno, who simply cannot wait to meet a canine of the same persuasion.
"Wait...I think I sense a pug nearby...."thinks Bruno.
OH, PUH-LEASE. YOU KNOW YOU JUST LOVE THE WAY EMMA SMELLS. YOW-SA.
Emma has arrived via yellow cab! Here's what she was thinking pre-date:
Emma puts on her favorite scarf for today’s date, with Bruno, Pug-Extraordinaire. She is very excited to be going out after her health issues this summer. Crossing Fifth Avenue, her heart skips a beat as....
Bruno strolls over to meet Emma!
Eyes glistening and bugging, Bruno approaches Emma. How to make her realize he is an International Pug of Mystery? French! "Bonjour ma Petite Emma, ca va?
OOOOhhh…il parle Francais! Bonjour, Monsieur Bruno. Ca va bien. Je suis heurese de faire votre connaisance. Lucy, he is quite debonair, however calling me by a term of endearment in the first sentence, now really!! I mean, I know he is THE MAN ….but we’ve only just been introduced!!!
"Nice to meet you!" they say. "Our humans like to go to The Met, but we like to run in the park, and so far as we know, no dogs are allowed in the Met...so off we go!"
BRUNO, PUH-LEASE ALREADY. GIVE IT A FEW MINUTES, WILL YOU?
You are right, I do tend to plunge into things headfirst.
Sniff sniff sniff
PLAY COY, EMMA. WAIT TILL HE BITES BEFORE YOU REEL HIM IN.
"Ooooh I think I can do this date!" says Emma.
Perhaps he was simply overcome by my cuteness. It happens. Let’s see if he is fun to romp with. No Lucy, it’s too soon for THAT type of romping although he has that look in his eyes…
"Central Park, thataway!"
PUT THE TONGUE AWAY, EMMA. TOO SOON.
Oh dear Lucy we need to talk about this. I cannot help it. I was born this way. What’s a girl to do?
They meet...first time ever I saw your face plays in the background...
FORGIVE ME HERE, BUT I KNOW PUGS, AND THEY ARE THE RANDIEST THINGS. EMMA'S THINKING,YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?
AND BRUNO'S TELLING HIMSELF, I CAN HOP ON THAT.
Lots of fun things to sniff on the way
All right! Common ground. Emma likes to sniff as much as I do. And mom can't grumble and hurry us along. She knows that would be impolite, and she is nothing if not proper.
Make sure you look before you cross the street
EMMA, YOU NEED TO TRAIN BRUNO. BOYS ALWAYS WALK ON THE OUTSIDE OF THE STREET.
Oh I’m looking all right. Peachy, I just realized I should be looking for cars but I’m not! I’m looking at Bruno! Lucy, help! I’d rather look at this fine specimen of a pug than perform my usual car chasing antics! Can this be a sign? Can it be I’m falling in love?
The gate smells nice too
So, want to take this route?
Happy pugs have tails that curl up
ERR, PEACHY. YOU THINK PEOPLE INVENTED THE EXPRESSION A "HOT PIECE OF TAIL"? I DON'T THINK SO….
"I think I'm in love!" says Bruno
Bike!
BRUNO IS THINKING, WILL YOU TURN THE OTHER WAY WHILE I LIFT MY LEG. A LITTLE PRIVACY PLEASE.
Let me show you how good I am at digging
Oooh la la I am impressed
The perfect pair arrives to the Met's backyard....
YUK. SOMEBODY TAGGED THAT FIRE HYDRANT FIVE MINUTES AGO.
I'M BEGGING YOU TO PUT THAT TONGUE AWAY.
Some chasing ensues
PEACHY, HIDE AND SEEK IS NO FUN ON A LEASH. GIVE THEM A BREAK FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Emma is thinking…Any dog can behave on a leash. Take it off and let’s see your manners then!
Getting frisky, they have their leases removed...
IT'S ABOUT BLOODY WELL TIME, PEACHY. THIS ISN'T THE PROGRAM I DESCRIBED, GIRL.
HHHMMM. I KNOW THE BEST PLASTIC SURGEON ON PARK AVE. HE CAN TAKE CARE OF THAT TONGUE, AND WHILE HE'S AT IT, WE'LL GET YOUR LIPS DONE, TOO. AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT TROUT POUT. MY BOY'S GOOD.
"Oh no Mom! She peeed on me!"laments Bruno
EWWWWWWWWWWW!
"What did I do that made her do such a thing?"
EMMA, GIRL, I'M ROOTING FOR YOU. BUT WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU THINKING?
An anonymous source stated: "It seems to be the nature of relationships between women and men."
DID YOUR ANONYMOUS SOURCE WRITE SEX IN THE CITY? NEWS FLASH: THAT SERIES IS SO OVER.
"Boy I cannot believe it-another bath will be in order now..."thinks Bruno.
I FEEL YOUR PAIN, BRUNO. EWWWWWWWW.
"So sorry Bruno!" says Emma. "I was just trying to get your attention."
"Since I am so cute maybe you can forgive me?"
Dear Lucy,
I was having so much fun and simply got caught up in the moment…Ummm… Of course, between us girls, we can pretend it was a mistake, quel horreur…but really, really, I was simply sending a message to those other girls out there…back off. He’s MINE. I can smell another female a mile away and I sensed I needed to make my position perfectly clear, as you will soon see. But please, let’s just keep this between us, OK?
"Well, I think as long as it doesn't happen again..."replies Bruno
YEAH, BUT HE'S THINKING, IS SHE SOME KIND OF KINK?
I don't know what to think, Lucy. I understand guys doing this kind of thing; showing what big men the are and all. But Petite Emma? Yet another topic to put on my list of wonders to ponder. At the risk of being laughed out of the room, I will ask my sister Ruby when I get home.
Oh no! NYPD patrol the park hopefully not looking for unleashed dogs.
And my New York City registration tags are back home! I keep them on my favorite collar that says "stud" all over it but Mom insisted they were not appropriate for a first date. Sigh. She does not realize the bad boy image always works for 007.
"Hi Policeman! Aren't I cute!" says Emma.
Emma is thinking my mother said to not wear my NYC tags on a first date. I am sooo glad my head tilt distracted the patrol man….way to go Bruno…I see we have some similarities. This is good. I am really having fun now. Let’s play tag…you’re it!
NYPD escapes, unwatered by said pugs fortunately for all three humans present.
PEACHY, WOW, GIRL. I JUST HAD A HUGE IDEA. I'M CALLING DICK WOLF FIRST THING AND PITCHING HIM ON A NEW SHOW. LAW AND ORDER: K-9. "THESE ARE OUR STORIES." GOOD BYE HOME MOVIES. HELLO, NBC.
"Boy that was close,"says Bruno, now harnessed. "Privacy is not easy...not only do we have chaperones but also the authorities involved. I hope they can look the other way so we can have some alone pug time."
"Bruno you are so cute too! Pucker up, buttercup!" coos Emma.
YOU REALLY ARE A RANDY THING….
LOOK AT THE POOR BOY. HE'S THINKING, FIVE MINUTES ALONE. I'M BEGGING YOU. FIVE MINUTES ALONE.
It is official. They are an item.
Here's BREMMA!
They are pleased to announce that there will be a date #2, covered by Peachy of course.
BIKE PATH ON THE WEST SIDE…
Good call. I get to show off my neighborhood. I know all the good sniffing spots and stores that hand out treats and there are at least THREE pet stores within pug walking distance.
Now an item, they are ready to interact with the canine public.
First they meet Zoe, a girl black poodle.
SORRY, EMMA. MY COUSINS ARE TOUGH COMPETITION!
Suddenly, Emma becomes jealous.
WHAT DO YOU EXPECT, EMMA? YOU PEED ON POOR BRUNO FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.
"What happened to the doggie heaven we were in a minute ago?" says Emma.
See Lucy, I smelled competition in the distance…I’m going to pretend that this does not bother me at all. No public cat, er, dog fights for this pug.
Zoe is perky and pleasant and a lovely new friend.
PEACHY, SHE'S THE OTHER WOMAN, A ROMANCE BREAKING B…. WE'LL GO WITH BEAGLE. HAD I BEEN PRESENT, THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN A CAT FIGHT, BIG TIME. AND FOR THE RECORD, I'M NOT SURE WHETHER THAT'S A DOG OR A CHIA PET.
Emma says she might be your friend Peachy, but she better keep her paws to herself.
"Bruno is mine, Zoe!" says Emma. "I am the cutest of them all and I don't even need a magic mirror to know that."
YOU GO, GIRL.
Soon Bogey Tuckerman (age 8 months), a male Maltese-Poodle mix comes bounding in to play with his styling companion; she arrived in a fantastic green coat.
FORGET BOGEY. THOSE PEOPLE SHOES ARE ADORABLE.
OH, PUHLEASE. WHO DID THAT DOG'S TAIL? SHE LOOKS LIKE A SQUIRREL.
Actually Lucy, those are two different dogs...Bogey has ideas for his friend in the green coat...
Ummm, Lucy, I know I might have peed on Bruno but at least I’m not into public displays of affection, if you get my drift…
I RATE THIS DATE A SEVEN. EMMA, YOU'RE ADORABLE GIRL. BUT WE NEED TO WORK ON TONGUE AND BLADDER CONTROL NEXT TIME. BRUNO, YOU GO GET HER, YOU BAD BOY.
Roger Lucy. Perhaps you can recommend a suitable box of treats to bring petite Emma when we next meet. I am steak and potatoes kind of guy, but Emma's watching her diet, I am told.
