READ THIS: OF THEE I ZING America’s Cultural Decline from Muffin Tops to Body Shots By Laura Ingraham with Raymond Arroyo Our Coverage Sponsored by Cosmopolitan Dental, Official Dentist of Whom You Know
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The phrase "America's Cultural Decline" we find to be the ultimate in scary, and when you leave the life of Peachy Deegan in Manhattan and go into everyday America, you will see that Laura Ingraham makes a lot of important points that are dead-on and she does it in quite an entertaining way as well. We love her patriotic intervention: "When you love something, you fight for it-and I can't bear to see America go down like this." (p. 4) We really want everyone to encourage the country to live to a higher standard overall, and this means culturally too. Mind your P's and Q's and everything inbetween. If you walked more, you wouldn't have a muffin top. Peachy has an aunt, whom we'll refer to as Aunt Florida, who really loves Laura Ingraham. Everyone knows Peachy likes to read so everyone that knows Peachy tells her what she should be reading. We take few suggestions, but we know Aunt Florida has great taste, so we opened our eyes to the world of Laura Ingraham. Oooh and it was not lost on us that she is also from the great state of Connecticut, though on the other side of Hartford in Glastonbury. Aunt Florida really wants to meet you Laura. She thinks she believes it to be a distinct possibility too since she's had her photo with Mitt we believe by the AP.
What do we love about Laura Ingraham? Let us count her positive points:
*Laura Loves English too
We particularly like the part: "Teach Your Children (and Yourselves) How to, Like, Speak" (p. 33)...and we'd to that "...and to Write, You Know!"
Another part to be adored: "Words in Need of Revival" (p. 37)
These included: Hooligan, Bum, Hobo, Strumpet, Harlot, Galoot, Palooka and many more to be employed. We'd like to add Thug and Degenerate.
Do not miss on p. 161 Grammarians at the Gate!
She is at her strongest when she comments on page 194:
"[in reference to a horrifying text]...Imagine the literary future that awaits this Hemingway. Washington State teachers told the AP that students are routinely 'abbreviating and leaving vowels out of words.' What did we expect? They are writing the way they habitually write to friends each day-like morons. Guys, how about trying to be really countercultural? Why not give literacy a try? Not only will it make you look smarter, but others might actually be able to understand your ideas."
*Laura is Funny
No matter where you stand on the political spectrum, you have to agree that this from page 43 is hilarious...we can even imagine our pals from the football team regaling us with such verbiage to this day, but keep in mind their words would be in jest. Unfortunately for Laura, this really happened to her:
"A man on a stationary bike in front of me, wearing a sweat-drenched undershirt, just used the corner of said shirt to dig into his right ear canal. Then, to determine whether he had excavated the wax treasure within, he examined the shirt closely. Unsatisfied with the results of his makeshift Q-tip, he stuck his pinky in the same orifice and rooted around with a ferocious urgency. Does he think that the gym setting somehow exempts him from basic rules of human grooming? Orangutans preen with more discretion."
And, on dating (p. 135) she is not only funny, but spot-on:
"Make a plan, Stan. I was once asked out by a cute polo player who texted, 'Why don't we say 8:30 on Saturday and we'll figure out a plan then.' This isn't The Love Boat, and I'm not Julie McCoy your personal cruise director."
*Laura Makes Sense
If you are an actor, you want as many people to see your movies as possible, presumably. You know we are on a mission for American-made products and we are not so hot on anything made in China, but beyond that, we do believe the extermination of young girls there is comp
letely horrific and beyond comprehension (Read p. 88 to see the whole point).
Also, you have to love that she visits the bathrooms in restaurants first to see how clean they are. Excellent idea-she's not the only one who does that.
Laura appreciates holidays and lack of holidays: she says if you don't have money for a vacation that's called being an American during the Obama recovery and on page 271 she highlights the great importance of American holidays, and how crucial it is to celebrate the true meaning of them. We agree, as much as we do love to shop. Also, she's holding out for Impeached Presidents Day.
We learned about a lot of things we have experienced that do horrify us in real life
*Killer strollers, ready to dominate the sidewalk and eat up pedestrians-note that when there are multiple strollers, it becomes more deadly annoying
*Pickers (p. 42)...most often seen in New York City subways going to outer boroughs. Truly disgusting would be an understatement.
*Ice chewers, Muffin tops, Pajama Jeans
*Aging hippies-no man should have hair long enough to be put in a ponytail at any age
*Cigarette danglers (p. 69) though on streets in Manhattan, we call them Chimney People. When we see one, we cross the street. We think they should be put in their own whole series of blocks in the city and confined there so we don't have to breathe them.
*The Announcers (p. 181) please keep it down!
*Patronizing Patrons (p.206)
We learned about a lot of things that really are happening (we checked them out ourselves too) that we really wish were not:
*Man Milk and men who wear baby slings...
*People that don't wear shoes. (p. 63) What is wrong with you? Haven't you ever heard of Tony Marinelli and Paul Mayer!?!? Meet them out of a fantastic rectangle box for sure, or you are really missing out on life.
Whom You Know Highly Recommends Of Thee I Zing!
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From #1 New York Times bestseller and conservative radio phenomenon Laura Ingraham comes OF THEE I ZING: America’s Cultural Decline from Muffin Tops to Body Shots (Threshold Editions; on-sale May 1st, 2012; Trade Paperback; $16.00), a shocking and hilarious look at the culture and habits of everyday U.S. citizens.
While walking through a Northern Virginia shopping mall one Saturday afternoon, it all became clear to Laura Ingraham. Everywhere she turned, she saw signs of the impending disaster: zombie teens texting each other across a café table; a man having his eyebrows threaded at a kiosk; a fiftyish woman shoe-horned into a tube top and skinny jeans; and a storefront ad featuring a Victoria Secret model spilling out of her push-up bra into the faces of young passersby. Ingraham wondered to herself, “Is this is? Is this what our forefathers fought for? What my parents struggled for?
I wonder if Victoria’s Secret is still having that two for one sale?”
A menacing force surrounds us. We see it, we feel it, we know it. The country we love is in grave peril. While politicians and “experts” prattle on about the debt crisis at home, and terrorism abroad, a more insidious homegrown threat is emerging. It endangers our future and undermines our present. The uncomfortable truth is: We have become our own worst enemy. The culture we have created is now turning on us. We’re on the verge of drowning in our ignorance, arrogance, gluttony… can you believe there are only three shots of vanilla in a Caramel Macchiato?!?
Now in an act of patriotic intervention the most-listened-to woman in talk radio casts her satirical eye upon all that ails American society. In this sharp-witted, comic romp, Laura Ingraham takes you on a guided tour through ten levels of our cultural hell.
You know we’re in trouble when…
* Airplane seats shrink—just as the passengers expand.
* Celebrity baby names go from the peculiar (Apple, Stetson, and Daisy Boo) to the pathetic (Bamboo, Blanket, and Bronx).
* People meticulously tend their virtual crops on Farmville, while their children eat take‑out.
* “Breaking News” usually means it happened yesterday.
* The weddings last longer than the marriages.
* Facebook has become a verb and reading has become an ancient art form.
OF THEE I ZING is cultural commentary too funny to ignore, igniting a national conversation long past due. America, your cultural recovery begins here.
LAURA INGRAHAM is the author of the #1 New York Times bestsellers The Obama Diaries and Power to the People, and two other acclaimed bestsellers. She is the host of The Laura Ingraham Show, one of the most popular talk radio shows in the United States, a Fox News contributor, and permanent substitute host for The O’Reilly Factor. A former Supreme Court law clerk and white-collar criminal defense litigator, she lives in the Washington, D.C., area with her two children.
Raymond Arroyo is a New York Times bestselling author, a producer, host of The World Over Live on EWTN, a frequent contributor to The Laura Ingraham Show, and a heck of an oarsman.
Threshold Editions is an imprint of Simon & Schuster. Simon & Schuster is a part of CBS Corporation, a global leader in the field of general interest publishing, dedicated to providing the best in fiction and nonfiction for consumers of all ages, across all printed, electronic, and audio formats. Its divisions include Simon & Schuster Adult Publishing, Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing, Simon & Schuster Digital, and international companies in Australia, Canada, and the United Kingdom. For more information, visit our website at http://www.simonandschuster.com.
OF THEE I ZING
America’s Cultural Decline from Muffin Tops to Body Shots
By Laura Ingraham with Raymond Arroyo
Threshold Editions
On-sale May 1, 2012
Paperback; $16.00; ISBN 9781451642056
