Peachy's Pet Pals: Star Canine Gossip Columnist Lucy Vonnegut Weighs In On Upcoming Emma and Bruno Pug Matchmaking by Peachy...Introducing BREMMA!
They don't know each other yet.
Their humans don't either.
But guess who does know them?
That's right, Ms. Deegan does.
Life is too short and it's not who you know, it's WHOM YOU KNOW and pugs of a feather should flock together Peachy thinks. However, Peachy is a human, not a canine so she just had to ask Lucy Vonnegut!
From the Desk of Lucy
Peachy,
It’s about time you asked for my help. I mean—who better to describe dating secrets of the rich and famous than yours truly. I know just what Emma and Bruno, pugs extraordinaire, need for the romantic experience they’ll never forget.
Let’s start with one fundamental truth. Dogs like to pee. No, I’m not talking about standing by the door and ringing the bell to go outside. Don’t be gross. I’m talking about the three P’s of a great date, the can’t-fail practices that will leave these pooches pawing each other.
Why am I so confident? Hey, the advice worked for Brangelina. I’m sure Emma and Bruno will do just fine. Perhaps we should get a head start and call our pining pugsters, “Bremma.”
1. People Parade on the Steps of the Metropolitan Museum of Art
I was just at the Met with Norb, who’s working on a new novel about art theft. So my thoughts, my impressions, my piles are all fresh. Here’s my thinking. The location is right, and there are plenty of good smells on the steps. Lots of people to sniff. But forget the scents—I prefer to use the people parade as a diversion technique. When Whom-You-Know readers stop to talk with your pals and you, Peachy, our pugs can spend some quality time getting to know each other. See what I mean? It’s a blind date after all. Emma and Bruno need some private moments.
2. Picnic Lunch from Per Se
Peachy, you know I love you, girl. But with all due respect, let’s establish who and what we are:
I run with pugs. I know pugs. Many pugs are friends of mine. You’re no pug. And I promise you, Peachy, nothing sets the mood for pug love better than a doggy bag filled with the Butter Poached Nova Scotia Lobster from Per Se.
Ruff.
BTW, I must correct you on something. We dogs don’t have arm candy. We have leg candy.
3. Pigeon Patrol
Bring some breadcrumbs. When the pigeons have landed, all of them cooing and strutting this way and that, turn Bremma loose. Let them run wild in the park. Let the doggies doo what doggies doo. They’ll love you three forever.
Tootles, BFF, and XOXO,
Lucy
PS. Emma, I know Bruno will be pushing for a sleepover. Make him wait. You two need to sniff each other out before you commit. Know what I’m saying, girl?
***
More of how We Love Lucy:
Lucy's Debut:
Pre-makeover Lucy:
Post-makeover Lucy:
Lucy battling Sandy:
Halloween Lucy:
Lucy's Letter to Santa:
New Year's 2013 Lucy:
-a note from the Editor-
We highly encourage you to read all works by Norb Vonnegut - in fact, make it your New Year's Resolution to read them all:
-a note from Lucy-
Just buy his books. Buy them for you. Buy them for your friends. It will make my allowance bigger so more 2013 outfits...I need to maintain my standard of cute.
